System Reboot
by bergheimat
Summary: Doctor Who crash-lands his TARDIS near Reynholm Corporation and gets technical assistance from Roy, Jen, and Moss.


**System Reboot**

As the TARDIS spun out of control through time and space, the Doctor ran around the controls – twisting this, pulling that, pressing a button.

"Come on, girl," the Doctor muttered, frantically typing at the computer console.

_BOOM_. A shower of sparks fell from the ceiling. Blast it! After a dozensolo trips, _this_ was happening!

"Easy, girl. I just have to figure out this software bug, and then we'll be OK –"

A shudder ran through the TARDIS as they crashed, throwing the Doctor to the floor; all the lights went out except for the dim glow of the computer monitor.

"Brilliant," the Doctor said.

He lurched up at an angle, down the stairs, and up again to the door. The Doctor forced open the door, then crawled out.

"Oof," he said as he fell to the concrete. He looked around – he had landed in the centre of a car park. A tall office building towered over him.

Didn't offices usually have an IT department? This problem was simple enough; maybe someone in the office building would be able to help. Or not. The Doctor had no idea what year it was – humans clearly were building skyscrapers, but had they figured out space travel, much less time travel, yet?

Ah, well – as far as the Doctor was concerned, it was _always_ worth a try.

The Doctor strode through the revolving door. A handsome young receptionist sat behind a granite counter underneath the words REYNHOLM CORPORATION.

"Excuse me, sir," the Doctor said, "Where is the IT department?"

The young man looked up and blinked. "I… T? Bugger if I know."

"Yes," said the Doctor, "I'm having computer troubles."

"Oh," the receptionist said. "Try the basement; that's where they put all the computer nonsense."

"Thank you, sir," the Doctor said and strode to the elevator.

"Yes," Roy said into the phone, "Now press that button on the side – good, that's it – is the screen black? Okay, good, now press it again." He hung up.

From the couch, Jen said, "Roy, you really should be nicer to our customers."

"Jen's right," Moss said, not looking up from his work – he was gluing together the parts of a model of _The Enterprise_.

"Sod it," Roy said. "It's the same thing every time."

At that moment, the Doctor strode into the room. "Hello!" he said. "I need help with my spaceship's computer, and I heard that you are _just_ the people to do it!"

"Spaceship?!" Roy spluttered.

Jen burst out laughing. "Very funny." She turned back to the _Daily Star_ she was flipping through. "Roy, this is another one of the practical jokes from the twelfth floor, like when they told everyone that I was dead."

Roy and Moss exchanged a look.

"Hold it," Moss said, adjusting his glasses and peering at the Doctor. "You seem familiar."

"Yes, indeed, I do," the Doctor said, spinning around the room. "I have one of those faces. I'm the Doctor." He came to Moss's desk, then picked up Moss's model of _The Enterprise _and pretended to fly it around. "Zooooom."

"The Doctor!" Moss gasped. "You're _real? _Do you know how many times I've cosplayed as you? Oh, and put that down – the glue's not dry yet."

"Sorry," the Doctor said; he put down the model.

"Cosplay? I don't want to know what that is," Jen said, flipping through _Daily Star_. "It sounds like one of those creepy Internet things."

Roy sniggered.

"Shut up! I'm never going to recover from that time you turned off my 'safe search' mode!" She glared at Roy. "I saw bloody _tentacles_!"

The Doctor winced. "That's not very nice, my dear – Roy, did she call you?"

"Yep," he said, hitting _Pg Down_ over and over again as he looked at something on the computer.

"And you are - ?"

"I'm Moss!" Moss shouted. "And, Jen, this is _the Doctor!_"

"Who's that, anyway?" Roy said, mousing over to something.

Moss gaped at his friend. "How can you have known me for this long and not know who _the flipping Doctor _is?"

Roy shrugged and continued scrolling.

Moss scoffed. "Clearly, I've failed as a friend. _Doctor Who _marathon tonight. You, too, Jen."

"Hmm?" she said. Then, "Oh." She sized up the Doctor. "This man, he resembles an actor on that show?"

"He's not an actor," Moss said. "He's the main character."

She considered this, then said, "If the actor looks anything like him, sure. He's awfully good-looking."

"Thank you," the Doctor said. "I'm flattered. Now, if you would please follow me?"

"The TARDIS!" Moss gasped.

"What?" Jen said. "It's an old-timey police box."

"No, no, no," Moss said. "It's the TARDIS."

Indeed, it was the TARDIS: it had crashed into the pavement of the car park besides the office building at an angle that reminded Jen of the time Douglas had thrown the "shithead of the year" trophy onto her car window. She wondered if this was _really _a practical joke – it was just too much.

"Huh?" Roy said. "What's a TAR – what'd you say?"

"TARDIS," the Doctor supplied. "Time And Relative Dimension in Space. My time machine and space ship." Before anybody could say anything, he ran to the door and held it open for the three of them. "Roy, Jen, Moss. After you."

Moss bounced in, a silly grin plastered on his face.

"Time machine?" Jen whispered to Roy. "Space ship?"

"I don't know," Roy said. "The man's clearly a tramp. Instead of a cardboard box, he's got a police box."

"Come on!" Moss said. "It's bigger on the inside!"

Just like Moss had said, it _was _bigger on the inside. Roy and Jen looked around, wonder on their faces. The Doctor grinned at them.

"But that's impossible," Jen said, climbing the stairs. "How is that possible?"

"Oh, the explanation is really quite simple," Moss said, "In the serial _Robots of Death_, the fourth Doctor explains – "

"Actually," Jen interrupted, "You know what? Stow it. I have a brainthat stores _useful_ knowledge, you know – none of that geek bullocks." She sat on one of the couches that surrounded the console. Roy walked up the stairs and stood beside her, arms crossed.

Moss waved away her comment, then turned to the Doctor. "Doctor, can I see the Sonic?"

"Huh? Oh, why not?" The Doctor tossed the sonic screwdriver to Moss, who immediately devoted all of his attention to the device. "My computer still needs fixing, though." The Doctor indicated the blinking terminal in the centre of the TARDIS.

"Boys, all yours," Jen said.

"Alright, I'll look at it," Roy said, sounding resigned. He ambled his way over.

That interrupted Moss's intense focus on the sonic. "Me, first!" he said, running up the stairs to the console.

Roy reached the console first. The screen displayed Gallifreyan loops and whorls. "Blimey," he said, "This is in some other language. Moss, do you know this language?"

Moss leaned over. "No, I don't."

Roy looked at Moss askance. "Moss, you know Klingon, Elvish, C++, PERL, even bleeding _assembly code_ – but you're telling me you don't know _this _language?"

Moss shook his head, his curls bobbing. "It's Gallifreyan," he said as simply as if that explained everything.

"Huh?" Roy said.

"My language," the Doctor said. "The TARDIS doesn't translate it; I'll translate it for you."

"Your language?" Roy asked. "Wait – don't bother." He sighed. "Have you tried turning it on and off again?"

"Oh, come on!" Jen shouted from the couch. "It's a spaceship; that won't work!"

The Doctor chuckled. "Roy, my dear boy. Jen's right." He wagged his finger. "Turn it off and on again. That's funny."

Roy frowned. "Seriously, _have you tried turning it off and on again_?" he repeated, more firmly this time.

Moss nodded. "Do it," he said, twirling the Sonic around in his fingers.

"Alright," the Doctor said, reaching for the OFF switch. "But if this doesn't work..." He flipped off the TARDIS; the lights hummed and then went out.

"Just a moment," the Doctor muttered in the darkness. "I've gotta pull this, then slide that over…"

The lights went _bzzt_, then hummed back on.

"Did it work?" Roy asked.

"Let me see," the Doctor said; he pushed and pulled the series of buttons required to start up the TARDIS. At first, nothing happened, but then – yes, the TARDIS hummed softly, paused, then hummed at its usual volume!

"Blimey!" the Doctor exclaimed. "I don't believe it!"

"Figures," Jen said. "Computer nonsense _would _be the same all over."

The Doctor hugged Moss, who returned his embrace enthusiastically, then walked over to Roy.

"Whoa, no, no," Roy said, his arms outstretched. "I'm glad to be appreciated and all, but I'm not hugging a bloke I just met."

"Say, Doctor," Moss said, looking around as if he had just noticed something for the first time. "Where are your companions?"

"Pardon me?" the Doctor said.

"I'm not exactly caught up," Moss said, "But I believe that you were travelling with Amy and Rory Pond?"

"Oh," the Doctor said. He turned away and, for the first time, he looked sad. "They're not here."

"No spoilers!" Moss shouted. "I haven't watched the new series yet!"

The Doctor chuckled. "No worries. I have all the latest episodes on DVD – but, well, BBC is always a bit behind on my travels."

"No kidding?" Moss said. "So you're on, like, the series after the one that's airing right now?"

The Doctor looked thoughtful. "You could say that."

"Holy schnizzles! That's flipping awesome! Can we come along?"

"Wait, what are you talking about?" Roy said.

"Yeah," Jen chimed in. "What do you mean, 'we'?"

"Oh, come on!" Moss exclaimed. "This is _the Doctor. _We are in _the TARDIS_. We could go anywhere in the universe, anytime!"

"What about work?" Jen said. "What about _life_?"

"Sod all that!" Moss shouted. "We're in a time machine! We could leave today and come back tomorrow."

"Let me get this straight," Roy said. "Is this like _The_ _Terminator _time travel or _Back to the Future _time travel?"

"It's the best kind of travel, _ever_!" Moss said. "The Doctor has all the episodes on DVD; wait 'til you see where they go – they travel as far as 5 billion years in the future, they chat up famous blokes like Shakespeare and Van Gogh, and they even meet underground lizard aliens – "

"You'll have plenty of time to watch all that," the Doctor said. "It takes a while to travel through the time vortex."

"Really? It's not just a few seconds of spiraling through blue and red whilst the theme song plays?"

"No," the Doctor said. "Travelling takes time."

"Well, can we come along?" Moss's grin was so wide it threatened to break his face.

"Hmm, I've never travelled with a fan before." The Doctor paused. "But I've surprised my previous companions enough. Yes, it'd be nice to travel with someone who has _some _idea of what to expect."

"Yesssss!" Moss shouted, bouncing up and down. "Roy, Jen, you're coming, right? Right?"

Roy shrugged. "Sure, why not. It's got to be better than saying the same bullocks every single day."

"Yesss! How about you, Jen?"

Jen frowned. "It's not boring, like Star Trek or something? I'd rather 'manage' an empty office for a day than listen to men go on and on about warp drives and wormholes."

"No," Moss said, "It's not like that at all. It's more like…" he groped for a descriptor.

"An adventure," the Doctor said. "Through time and space – I'll handle all the wibbly-wobbly stuff; you sit back and enjoy the ride."

"Can we go to America in the 1920s?" Jen asked. "Their dresses are to _die _for."

"Sure," the Doctor said, fiddling around with switches. "We can go anywhere. Moss, like I said, I have the entire series on DVD – catch your friends up on all the issues, will you?"

"Will do," Moss said.

"Hmm," Jen said. After thinking it over, she said, "I guess I'll go on _one_ trip, just to see what it's like."

"Yessss!" Moss said. "Epic win! Roy, Jen, let's go watch some flipping _Doctor Who _while our good man pilots us to the Roaring '20's!"

"Give me the Sonic," the Doctor said.

"Can I look at it some more?" Moss asked.

"Well – "

"I think I can make it open wood."

The Doctor thought about this. "Just don't break it. Telly's downstairs, past the library."

Jen, Roy, and Moss made their way downstairs.

"You find it?" the Doctor shouted.

"Yes," Moss shouted back from a great distance. "We're putting the DVD in right now!"

"Hang on!" He threw a switch, the TARDIS rumbled, and… it was off, spinning through time and space!


End file.
